Relationship Coach for
growth-minded individuals and couples
Create extraordinary relationships with
yourself and others
CAN YOU BENEFIT FROM a RELATIONSHIP COACH?
You don't need to be in a relationship—or unhappy in one—to find value in relationship coaching. Here are some ways you can benefit from this powerful work.
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Pre-Marital & Newlywed Enrichment
Online self-paced course for couples – coming soon!
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Dating
Lead with authenticity, self-worth, and self-trust to bring the dating process into alignment with you and your values.
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Stepmoms / Stepdads
Learn research-backed best practices for managing the outsider role during the blending process.
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Solo by Choice
Meet your belonging needs through a by-design life and by-design relationships. Read more about the Solo life, here on the Starling Blog!
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Breakups & Divorce
Transform a shifting identity into a new self-concept full of possibility and agency.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT ALONE
Imagine having a sounding board, a thought partner, and a steadfast ally by your side.
This is what a relationship coach does. I help people overcome internal and external obstacles so they can generate the kind of love and belonging they want in their lives.
Navigating romantic relationships can feel overwhelming. There are the beginnings and endings to traverse. There is the ambivalence that big commitments rightfully awaken. For those who enter long-term monogamous partnerships there are the inevitable challenges that arise. For those designing a modern, norm-busting approach there are goals and needs to get clear on.
Wherever you’re located relationally, it’s normal to feel lost, stuck, searching. There’s not a person out there who hasn’t felt disoriented at some point.
In our work together, we build up three internal resources: listening inward, knowledge, and relating skills. Through this framework, you’ll step into your own self-agency and feel readied to create forward motion.
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The compass of the entire universe is within you”. - Wayne Dyer
As a general rule, relationships become hazardous when we move away from self-knowing. When we self-abandon in order to be liked, to fit in, to please, to conform, to be accepted, to control perceptions, we lose our way.
Bringing forward your authentic you is essential for cultivating real connection in your relationships. That’s why it’s a theme I weave throughout our work together, returning, over and over, to your intuition, your inner wisdom, tuning in to your hopes, dreams, needs, feelings.
When you slow down and make the space to listen inward, you repair and restore your self-worth, and you elevate the voice of self-compassion within.
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"Knowledge is love and light and vision."
- Helen Keller
The interdisciplinary field of relationship science has produced tremendously useful empirically informed ways of thinking about relationships. We have data on so many topics: the developmental stages of love, how the best marriages work, managing competing pushes and pulls in merging stepfamilies; understanding the “transition-to-parenthood-penalty” couples experience - just to name a few.
When we access and apply research-backed knowledge to your set of circumstances it enables you to make wiser decisions. In our work together I will share insights and strategies from the field and point you toward resources that will enhance your knowledge base.
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“Love is a verb.” - Stephen R. Covey
Relational skill-building is a meaningful part of personal growth. In our work together, we identify what tools you can master to boost you forward toward your relationship goals. Active listening, practicing how to ask for help, implementing the Gottman 5-to-1 ratio in your marriage - these are examples of the types of relating skills we might cover. Your ability to understand others and be understood by others is central to your relational well-being.
BOOK AN INTRODUCTORY CALL TO GET STARTED
If none of these times work for you, reach out! We’ll find a time that does.
COACHING PACKAGES
Coaching sessions are 50 minutes, held virtually over phone or video which means you can be located anywhere around the world. We begin with a free discovery call. Book a discovery call to discuss your current challenges and explore how coaching will impact progress toward your relationship goals. I work with individuals and couples.
THROUGH OUR WORK, YOU WILL:
Grow your emotional intelligence
Let go of patterns that hold you back
Access greater self-awareness
Learn effective ways of relating and communicating
Listen to your authentic inner you
Clarify your values to enable purposeful action
No longer feel alone in thinking through your circumstances
Anne Decore, MSMFT
master of science in marriage and family therapy
With over 7 years experience as a licensed therapist providing therapy and discernment counseling to couples in Chicago, Anne brings her expertise in relationship science to Starling Coaching where she sees clients globally as a coach.
Anne’s approach is collaborative and she takes a strength-based view of all her clients. Anne always searches for and emphasizes client strengths, competencies, and resources. She offers clients research-backed strategies and is committed to her own ongoing continuing education. Clients of all backgrounds, races, gender identities, cultures, sexual orientations, and ages are welcome - and celebrated.
Anne believes the most successful romantic relationships go beyond just mutual love and affection. They become a vehicle for self-expression. They allow you to be the truest you. These are what she calls “extraordinary relationships” and she’s dedicated to helping her clients achieve them.
When Anne’s not on calls with clients, you can find her dancing to Taylor Swift with her husband and two sons; writing, reading, and sipping coffee; or curling up with her 90 lb Pyrenees-Boxer rescue (let’s be honest, WHO RESCUED WHO?).
COaching vs. Therapy
And other FAQS
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The practice of coaching and the practice of therapy are clearly distinct despite some perceived overlap. Broadly speaking, both therapy and coaching are services which seek to enhance clients’ well-being.
However, therapists diagnose and treat mental illness. (For example, a diagnosis is required for every therapy session being covered by an insurance company.) Therapy focuses on remediation of symptoms and helping clients return to a baseline of functioning. Coaching is for individuals who are relatively high functioning and want to make further gains. Coaching is not a substitute for therapy and coaching does not treat, cure or prevent any mental disorder or medical disease. This is true regardless of whether a coach has received education and training as a psychotherapist. Coaches must refer clients out to appropriate mental health treatment providers if these services are needed or requested.
Coaching is structured, goal-oriented, and focused on action, accountability, strategy, and growth. The engagement between coach and client tends to be time-limited. The session focus stays mostly with the present and future, and travels less frequently into the historical past.
According to the ICF (international Coaching Federation) “coaching is the future-focused practice of partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. Professional coaching focuses on setting goals, creating outcomes, and managing personal change.”
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Dual professional relationships should be avoided. Going from one relationship to another can create confusion for the client regarding the differences between services.
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Yes. Coaching is not a government-regulated practice. As such, there are no prohibitions on working with clients in other states.
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No. Health insurance only pays for “medically necessary treatment.” Coaching is not a medical service.
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I feel that this offer establishes a clear expectation about the experience. Our work together is an iterative process between the coach and client that occurs over time. I believe setting clear expectations enhances the client experience.