Anne Decore, MSMFT

I’m so glad you’re here. I’m going to tell you a bit about how Starling came about and what coaching means to me, and I’ll try to be succinct about it all because you’re busy (I totally get it).

First, you may be curious why, as a practicing therapist, I chose to launch a relationship coaching practice. In short, relationships are something we ALL think about and something a lot of people, outside of those in therapy, want help with. We are truly a love-obsessed culture. An alien who landed on our planet and turned on a TV would divine this in no time based on the sheer number of reality shows focused on love, dating, and the happily-ever-after. Our cultural interests reflect something very true about our nature, which is that we are relational creatures to our core. We even have brain cells called mirror-neurons that mirror what another person is feeling in order to better connect with that person. Now that’s some crazy alien-like stuff.

The truth is, because relationships are so central to our lives and well-being, most people want to work on them.

Those who need help solving clinical problems go to a therapist. I love my work as a therapist and believe in the value it holds for my clients. Yet, during my years of experience as a therapist I began to realize that we don’t reach a huge number of people who have non-clinical challenges and goals. What about those who simply want to improve, grow, learn? For example, those who want to optimize their step-parenting skills, their dating approach, or their pre-marital knowledge? A lot of people don’t come close to meeting a diagnostic criteria for the relationship issues they want to work on. Therefore, the psychotherapy medical model - formal psychotherapy assessment, intervention, and treatment - doesn’t make sense. Coaching does.

As a coach, I draw on my clinical knowledge and therapeutic modalities to help growth-minded clients move toward their relationship goals in a way that is collaborative, fun, fluid, and solution-oriented. The process has a signature emphasis on education and strategy (hence the term “coaching”).

I am endlessly fascinated by the interdisciplinary field of relationship science (my bookshelf overflow is a real problem). In my first couples-focused graduate school class at Northwestern called “Intimate Relations 1,” I knew immediately I had found my calling. That was 7 years ago and I feel that way more than ever.

If you are interested in chatting about working with me, please schedule a call. I can’t wait to meet you. And, while you’re here, pop over to the Starling blog to find great, free, relationship content. That’s where I get to share all the things that I think might be useful to you.

Read on to learn more about my approach, my training and influences on my work.